Every Muslim man needs to learn how to network in a way that is natural and doesn’t seem fake.
The key here is to not BE fake. To be genuinely interested in people and want to invest in the relationship.
Today, I’m talking to Jay Campbell, a repeat guest on the Becoming the Alpha Muslim podcast.
Jay is one of the best natural networkers I have ever seen, and a master at making feel important and appreciated.
People don’t remember what you said. They remember how you made them feel.
During the discussion, you’re going to hear us talk about:
- How to introduce yourself to strangers and what to say to make them feel comfortable
- How to stay present and give your conversation partner the attention he deserves
- How to look for areas of commonality and mutual interest
- How to proceed past the initial interaction to create a deeper relationship
- How to maintain contact with a large network and keep relationships warm
- And a few other related topics
- [03:00] Jay Campbell is a serial entrepreneur, real estate agent, champion physique competitor, published author, family man, and an evangelist of the optimized lifestyle.
- [04:00] I invited Jay on the show to speak about networking because I noticed he makes people around him feel important and appreciated. As you may know, it was one of the characteristics Prophet to make people feel this way whenever he communicated with them, and there are numerous hadith on his social skills.
- [05:00] Was Jay always such a great networker or is it something he learned? Jay credits his social fluency to moving around a lot when he was young and having to make friends with a new circle at 5 high schools.
- [09:40] Jay’s been poor and middle class as a child, became very successful in his youth, lost it all and worked his way back up from scratch. The experiences have given him an appreciation of the people he interacts with from all walks of life.
- [10:55] Social connection is a lost art among modern people. Most people don’t know how to walk up to someone, look them in the eye, give them a firm handshake and introduce themselves confidently. This is the most important aspect of networking; the first 10-30 seconds.
- [14:00] Hormonally healthy males have a natural level of confidence that fuels their social fluency. Modern males are walking around with low testosterone and this makes them socially awkward. E.g. the male Buzzfeed authors whose testosterone levels were abysmally low.
- [17:30] After the introduction, DON’T ask, “So what do you do for a living?” The segue is to ask them, “so, what are you doing here?” or something similar.
- [20:35] People care what you know until you know how much you care. Take an interest in who they are as a person. Another way to put it: if you want to be interesting, become interested.
- [22:30] When you walk into a room to interact with people, make sure your phone is in your pocket and not in your hand.
- [24:00] Even if you don’t have your phone in your hand, you need to stay present and focused on your conversation partner. People can immediately sense when you’ve checked out or your mind has wandered.
- [25:20] Learn how to listen attentively without thinking of your response. This is something Nabeel struggles with. If you notice your mind wandering, you can use techniques to refocus. For example, using humor. You can also use the affirmation, “there’s no place else I’d rather be; there’s no one else I’d rather see”. You can also check into your body by focusing on the sensations in your toes.
- [29:10] In a world when it’s routine for people to bulls*** you, it’s refreshing if you are honest and open.
- [30:45] Once you’ve built rapport and if you’d like to stay in touch, ask for their contact information. Jay uses Full Contact to enrich his contacts with data like birthday’s, social profiles, etc. Both parties already understand you are interacting for each other’s mutual benefit.
- [34:01] In order to get something from someone you need to be willing to give without any expectation of reciprocity. You must invest in the relationship without expecting anything in return. Nabeel goes above and beyond what’s expected to help promote his friends’ work and projects.
- [40:11] Jay has adapted the ways he keeps his relationships warm over time. Recently, he has been focusing on emailing his list and creating and publishing valuable content for his network. For example, he regularly goes live on his Facebook feed to do interviews with experts.
- [46:30] You want to have clarity on your vision and purpose, so you know exactly who you want to start and develop relationships with.
- [48:30] Physically intimidating people should make the effort to seem more likable and not a threat. For example, smiling, showing them the palms of your hands, facing your body to them fully.
- [50:30] What’s the minimum level of contact you need to keep a relationship warm? It’s difficult to do when you have a lot of contacts. Jay, for example, replies to every email sent to him, which takes up a lot of his time. It’s common for successful content creators on their way up in popularity to respond to messages in this way, but at some point, it gets too much for them to maintain.
- [57:30] If you want to get a response from a busy person, make it easy for them to respond. Don’t ask them things you can get answered with a little research. Message them in a way that’s convenient for them. E.g. if Jay says email him and he’ll respond, EMAIL HIM, don’t message him on Facebook.
- [1:01:00] The Definitive TRT MANual: Advanced Strategies Edition will be released January 15th, 2018. Click here to get on the pre-launch list.
- [1:02:45] The Metabolic Blow Torch Diet is currently available on Amazon.
- [1:05:30] Jay hosts two podcasts – TRT Revolution and Decoders of Truth. He’s also on Twitter and Facebook.