The Definitive Guide to Halal & Haram Sex Acts (Muslims Like to F*** Too)

What I learned from my meta-analysis of fatwas on sex acts and Islamic content on sex and sexuality.

fatwa halal sex acts

PSA — threesomes are HARAM. Simmer down, Ock. Image credit — Wikimedia Commons.

Summary of Halal & Haram Sex Acts

This is for those of you who just want quick answers and don’t want to read the entire post or the fatwas referenced.

  • Cunnilingus — Allowed. Don’t swallow any sexual fluids
  • Fellatio — Allowed. Don’t swallow any sexual fluids
  • Facials, pearl necklaces, and the like — Allowed
  • Spit or swallow?— Spit. Swallowing semen not allowed
  • Rim job — Allowed. Don’t penetrate the anus with your tongue
  • Anal fingering — Not allowed. You can massage her anus with your fingers without penetration
  • Titty bang — Allowed
  • Butt job — Allowed
  • BDSM — Allowed
  • Sex toys — Allowed. Don’t penetrate the vagina or anus with the toy
  • Phone sex — Allowed. Masturbating during phone sex is not allowed
  • Cyber sex — Allowed. Masturbating during cyber sex is not allowed
  • Food play — Allowed. Keep it away from the genitalia, don’t let it touch any sexual fluids, and don’t waste any of it

Update

One of my teachers clarified a few issues regarding the fatwas I presented below.

I have added his comments as footnotes to the article and referenced them in the post.

So, I’m the resident Islamist on r/islam.

One of the few voices of reasonable orthodoxy and orthopraxy in a sea of post-modern-anything-goes millenial Muslims.

A question that comes up a lot — the permissibility of specific sex acts.

Some examples of questions that come up about sex.

Rim Job

He’s asking if it’s halal for his wife to Toss his Salad (does she prefer jelly or syrup?)

oral sex in islam

This is the most common one due to the mainstream popularity of Oral.

sex in islam

Soon-to-be married men and women turn to r/islam for sex advice.

Aside from my annoyance at people being lazy af (people can study at MIT, online, for free, right now, but y’all can’t be bothered to do a google search on elementary subjects?) I got tired of seeing the same s*** over and over again.

So I wrote a detailed comment about it and link it whenever the issue comes up.

Then a friend of mine invited me on his Islamic talk show to do a series of episodes on various issues related to marriage — polygyny, spousal rights and responsibilities, and ‘taboos’ (i.e. sex.)

The first 15 minutes are slow. But then it gets RAUNCHY. FAST.

Luckily, I had already done the research and was ready to show up, fatwas blazing.

I went in.

Here’s a comment left by a scandalized auntie.

The content was INAPPROPRIATE for a family show like this. JUST BECAUSE a scholar said something in a book, DOES NOT MEAN you have to mention it in public.

I’m here today to present that ‘inappropriate content’ in all its Islamic glory.

Sign up for my FREE 5-day email course, the Alpha Muslim Mindset, because you will understand you don’t need a fatwa for everything under the sun. Click here to subscribe.

But first, let’s talk about sex (baby, let’s talk about you and me, let’s talk about all the good things, and the bad things, that may be.)

Specifically, let’s talk about HOW we TALK about sex.

Have you ever watched those fatwa shows?

They’re wildly popular on TV and youtube.

From time to time, a question about sex comes up.

Here’s what I realized.

I have NEVER seen a subject as interesting as sex be made to sound SO BORING, as I have when Muslim scholars or preachers speak on the subject.

A couple of examples (don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for both these scholars.)

Sheikh Muhammad Salah talks about blowjobs with a straight face:

Sheikh Muiz Bukhary talks about the etiquette of sexy times. Screaming orgasms are not mentioned:

Hena Zuberi, Saba Syed, and Haleh Banani talking about ‘feelings’ and s***:

Should ‘practicing’ Muslim women even be discussing this?

The requirements of female modesty are an invisible script that prevent them from doing this topic justice.

AND it was boring af.

In any case, I don’t trust women to discuss this objectively.

They are notorious for saying one thing and doing another.

See, for example, the 62% of (SIXTY TWO) women who have rape fantasies.

Muslim women in particular aren’t the innocent, demure flowers, oblivious to the ways between a man and a woman, we imagine them to be.

Y’all know the meme about ‘religious’ girls, right?

Another example…

Here’s something the homie Nour M Goda wrote in a Facebook comment, while we were discussing an article on the topic of wedding night sex.

She attempted to restate the author’s argument. I teased her about it.

Many Muslim youth face an identity crisis when it comes to sexuality, and largely as a fragmented diaspora that is racialized, we are both viewed as oppressed but also hyper-sexualized. It creates a taboo, almost a shame, about sex — even if it’s sex that is entirely halal between a married couple. Many Muslim women are left torn between a dichotomy of desexualized and hypersexualized narratives tossed at them.

Please, shoot me in the face. Right now.

WHO TALKS LIKE THAT!

It sounds like it belongs in a frickin’ thesis defense.

Muslim scholars of the past preferred euphemisms when discussing sex.

Which is fine. I get it.

Modest prose for modest people.

I also totally understand it’s against the propriety and chivalry (in Arabic — Muru’ah مروئة) required of a Muslim scholar to speak lewdly or be perceived as speaking lewdly.

HOWEVER, in our age of pornography, masturbation, and premarital sex, EUPHEMISMS DO NOT CUT IT.

We can be explicit without being lewd.

DON’T use my article as an example.

My language is deliberately provocative in order to move the Overton window towards The Middle Way.

Because right now, with the ‘respectable modesty’ of observant Muslims, we are NOT doing our jobs when it comes to educating Muslims about sex.

And s*** like this happens.

Feminism is Cancer #feminismiscancer

Wedding night sex = violent assault, according to this Feminist. HE’S YOUR HUSBAND FFS. #FeminismIsCancer

Or this.

Pre-marital sex in Islam

The struggle is real. Stay strong, my G.

Or this.

Feminism in Islam Muslim Feminists

WHY TF aren’t they in the kitchen?!

My Own Research.

On realizing the need for accurate Ummah research, I decided to to a highly-optimized scientific study.

Twitter polls.

I asked Muslim men if they want their wives to savor The Ol’ Sauseej.

I asked Muslim women if they want their husbands to dine on The Pink Taco.

The overwhelming majority answered in the affirmative.

Sadly, I’ve since deleted those tweets.

Oral sex is common knowledge, though.

What about other, more exotic sex acts?

Muslims are into some kinky s***, yo.

OK, so now comes the part y’all been waiting for.

The guideline is that everything is allowed EXCEPT anal sex and period sex.(1)

Anyone who tells you a particular sex act is haram (impermissible) needs to PROVE IT.

I’m going to list the sex acts and summarize my findings.

I’m not going to go into technicalities unless necessary.

If you want to know the details, please read the linked fatwas.

OBVIOUSLY, all of the above only applies to heterosexual married couples.

ALSO OBVIOUSLY, both spouses must agree on what they are doing. You are not allowed to force your spouse to do something he/she doesn’t want to do.

Recommendations and Conclusion

GUYS

Don’t be flippin’ autistic with your wife.

Learn Game. Learn social skills. Learn seduction. Learn how to bone.

DO NOT listen to women talking about feelings and emotional connections and s***.

Women say one thing and do another.

Don’t believe me? Why do ‘bad boys’ get the girls?

GIRLS

Learn to relax and enjoy yourself, gorramit.

Take a few slow, deep breaths before you bone.

Play with yourself while he’s giving you the stroke.(5)

Here’s some “Gender Equality” for you: YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ORGASM.(6)

Don’t blame your husband because of your emotional hangups.

Get out of your head and lose yourself in the moment for five minutes so you can cum.

Look, people.

Let’s just use some common sense here.

Why are you making sex so complicated?

Get married, frack each others brains out and have screaming orgasms, but don’t stick it in her butt or her bleeding punani.

Is that so hard to get?

Footnotes

  1. “The guideline is that everything is allowed EXCEPT anal sex and period sex.” Yes, and one more thing is relevant apropos the discussion: ingesting filth.
  2. Semen is mustaqdhar (gross) — not najis. It is unlawful to ingest gross things. That’s in the event that someone were able to ejaculate without pre-cum rendering it filthy.
  3. Some vaginal secretions are considered pure, others filthy. They are mucus, which makes them mustaqdhar even if tahir. So licking and sucking the clitoris is fine, while doing the vagina runs into the aforementioned problem.
  4. Why can’t they be inserted into the vagina? Reasoning is needed. Fingers are fine. But the general rule is that your genitals are halal only to your spouse. Inanimate objects require research.
  5. “Play with yourself while he’s giving you the stroke” — that falls under masturbation, which is unlawful. Better: tell him what to do with the rest of his body while using his penis. Multitasking is possible.
  6. “You’re responsible for your orgasm” — sure, with the primary halal means of achieving it being to tell your husband what to do. The earliest sources mention him buttering her up mentally and physically before engaging in intercourse. Just as they mention that the husband should keep at it if he finishes before she does.
  7. I didn’t see mention of masturbating each other. (Nabeel — mutual masturbation is allowed.)
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35 comments… add one
  • Tahir Dec 14, 2016 @ 20:45

    ok let me be brave and be the first one to publicly like this without feeling bad.

    • Nabeel Azeez Dec 15, 2016 @ 14:23

      Thanks, Tahir. Glad you liked it. Please share it with your friends.

      What other topics would you like me to write about?

  • JasonRMJ (جاسون) Mar 8, 2017 @ 19:05

    as a non-muslim isn’t this liwat (لواط) (sodomy)?

    • Nabeel Azeez Mar 8, 2017 @ 19:12

      Isn’t what sodomy?

      • JasonRMJ (جاسون) Mar 8, 2017 @ 19:40

        Anal fingering the description pretty much defeats the purpose from doing it…..

        • Nabeel Azeez Mar 8, 2017 @ 19:50

          Anal fingering is not allowed. One may fondle the anus without penetration.

          • JasonRMJ (جاسون) Mar 8, 2017 @ 19:51

            O.o

          • muslim.husband Nov 22, 2017 @ 0:26

            It’s not allowed as it’s a non purified place (nags), but it’s not lwat, lwat (being guy)

          • JasonRMJ (جاسون) Nov 23, 2017 @ 13:19

            fucking the ass is pretty much liwat

          • JasonRMJ (جاسون) Dec 11, 2017 @ 23:09

            liwat is committing sodomy, so basically it’s pretty fucking liwat to sodomize a person’s buttock for sexual gratification, being gay is not haram, having gay sex is haram…

          • muslim.husband Dec 12, 2017 @ 1:35

            I think we need to differentiate between transgression and gay, transgression is a biological cause, but being a gay is different, it’s psychological, every one born in fitrah, bad actions and habits turn Man beyond fitra, sodomy men started first by talking and walking like women, touching themselves, till they were punished by ALLAH turned into gays, and this is what they deserve.

            Appreciate your discussion

          • JasonRMJ (جاسون) Dec 19, 2017 @ 14:02

            I don’t really understand the sentences you’re trying to convey here, first off transgression can mean wrong,sin and crime so I don’t know why you think “biological cause” has to do with anything. Also, Talking and walking like a woman, touching themselves is a terrible way of finding people if they’re homosexuals or not, your description of homosexuals are stereotypes.

            Even if it’s true, your God already knows their past present future life, basically they’re already gay in the first place. What you’re saying makes no logical sense because God automatically knows their life.

  • Ornl Apr 18, 2017 @ 2:29

    Is the footnote about mutual masturbation including the cyber/phonesex?

  • Jamal Jul 3, 2017 @ 9:04

    “…the husband should keep at it if he finishes before she does.”

    How is this even possible though? He’s going to go limp after ejaculating and if you’re saying he should use other means than his penis, the desire is diminished too. Realistically speaking, this ain’t possible. But he should continue as soon as he’s able to get another erection. Is that what is meant? This should be clarified for the men.

    • Nabeel Azeez Jul 3, 2017 @ 9:53

      Jamaal, a healthy male can maintain an erection for a minute or more after ejaculation. So, as long as the woman is not too far away from her orgasm, he can manage it. Just keep giving her the stroke until she climaxes.

  • Jamal Jul 3, 2017 @ 9:08

    Love your articles bro. So sick of the feminist crap out there. Men gotta take control of the narrative and their women. Alpha males are the best husbands and pious muslimahs know this.

  • Swan Zi Aug 26, 2017 @ 3:12

    Hard to tell if it’s a Muslim writing this article or a Kaafir. Just because we blot out some letters doesn’t mean we’re not using these filthy expressions kuffaar use.

    Honestly, bro. Have some shame. Sure, Islam embraces and promotes sex between spouses. It also promotes purity and nobility.

  • Fatma Sep 26, 2017 @ 14:19

    so basically nothing is allowed even after nikkah

  • Franck Serpico Sep 27, 2017 @ 0:09

    Bdsm —> master/mistress and slave/submissive. Bow down before a human being, kiss feet, etc. Is it not shirk ?

    • Nabeel Azeez Sep 27, 2017 @ 11:34

      Hi, Franck. You’re doing something called an “extreme reach bias”.

      Taking something you don’t fully understand, thinking of the worst possible extreme example, and making a judgment based on it.

      This entire post is about enjoying what is halal while avoiding the haram.

      Why would I tell people to do something that is shirk? And why would the fatwa I linked to say bdsm is permissible if there is any connotation of shirk?

      Try to read with husn adh-dhann.

  • Maya Nov 21, 2017 @ 18:37

    So, being the curious little teen I am, I browsed the internet for a guideline as to what is haraam and halaal in sex and I found this page and after reading it, my mind asks another question:

    What do you exactly mean by masturbation?

    Now, don’t get me wrong. Don’t just read that one sentence and go, “WTF, child?” No.

    What I mean is, by masturbation (incase of women), do you mean that inserting something into the vagina is haraam while stimulating the clit is okay or is the entire thing haraam?

    I’d be really, REALLY grateful if you shed some light on this.

    • Nabeel Azeez Nov 21, 2017 @ 19:46

      Masturbation is to self-stimulate the sexual organs for the purpose of achieving orgasm. In the case of a woman, she stimulates her clitoris with her fingers or a foreign object and/or inserts her fingers or a foreign object into her vagina.

  • muslim.husband Nov 22, 2017 @ 0:23

    I misunderstood the point of toys, why husband can’t interest toys in his wife vagina or anus, or even make her cum, masturbate by his not herself?

  • disqus_x4BR6ht8ME Jan 11, 2018 @ 5:46

    You know I came here wanting to learn some stuff about sexually pleasureable things that could be done and you’ve answered them clearly. So thank you for that. But I don’t appreciate the unnecessary sexist and rude remarks you were saying about women like how they can’t speak up about topics like these (which is ironic since that’s what you’re doing in such a blunt way, which is fine since it answers Islamic questions) or that they “need to get back to the kitchen”, etc. The whole point of this article was for you to talk about sex and you shamelessly diverge it to being a complete ass for no reason. This isn’t even about feminism or anything but I find it SO funny how you are more butthurt and seem like you’re in the verge of an emotional breakdown more than any feminist I’ve ever known. Lol. You’re so pathetic and an awful example of a “Muslim”. A REAL Muslim wouldn’t discriminate and be hateful towards ANY gender for that matter. And Islam promotes the equality of both genders if you didn’t know that and is solely based on respect, kindness, and humbleness (even if you’re asked a blunt or embarrassing question). So for starters, I really thought you were doing a great job by answering questions people would be ashamed to ask in real life. And it was a great favor for the many of us I have to admit. But when you started saying unnecessaryly childish and hateful remarks that’s when I thought “who let this person use the internet?” Besides, a “Muslim” would know that Islam always encouraged the respect of women, as our beloved prophet (PHUH) always talked about this, and is pretty much an almost feminist religion before any other religion, nation, and culture started treating women fairly and equally. So kudus to you my friend. You officially showed your true colors and made it seem like Islam is such an awful religion by being a complete sexist and an asshole.

  • Hmmmmm Jul 17, 2019 @ 1:05

    Totally agree^ the info was easy to read and good but please stop with the rude comments and please stop being hypocritical

  • Malaikah Jul 28, 2019 @ 22:57

    Hey Nabeel! Can I just say I absolutely loveeedddd your article! It was so refreshing to see such a relaxed, laid back take on sex and all things taboo! Am signing up for your email course and would love for you to hear more from you about societally hushed topics (intersex/hermaphrodite people, why masturbation is consider haraam etc) May Allah bless you for normalizing and fostering discussion on a topic which others feel “afraid” or “uncomfortable” to discuss, thereby unfortunately leaving tremendous room for misinterpretation and err! The Prophet (SAW) himself used to answer such questions, hence I find it appalling how taboo we’ve made such discussions. Please don’t let the hate pull you down or doubt that what you’re doing isnt right. Because honestly your approach is the most accessible one to a teenager going into early adulthood, like me! Lots of duas for your success and happiness ❤️

    • Nabeel Azeez Jul 30, 2019 @ 18:25

      Thank you. This means a lot. Allah bless you!

  • Uzaam Oct 31, 2019 @ 16:26

    Yo…Nabeel!
    I heard that masturbating is ‘Debatable’
    Sooooooo…I thought that something debatable is actually lawful??
    Pls respond

    • Nabeel Azeez Oct 31, 2019 @ 17:36

      It’s not debatable. It’s not lawful. Ask your local scholar regarding matters of halal and haram.

  • DZ Dec 3, 2019 @ 8:50

    Is it permissible for a wife to wear a butt plug during sex ?

    • Nabeel Azeez Dec 3, 2019 @ 9:05

      Nope. No sticking anything in anyone’s butt.

      • DZ Dec 3, 2019 @ 10:21

        Ok, thanks for the enlightenment.

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